A Stage 4 Awakening

 Reminders, whether we think we need them or not come to us in life. Most of the time they remind us of how we got to where we are now. We often hear, hard work pays off. We drive ourselves into exhaustion at times thinking about what's next. We put out one fire just in time to see the smoke rising from another, yet still we continue to pursue our dreams. Why? I love it. I love coaching and seeing the growth of students both mentally and physically. I love to push myself to new heights and enjoying the views. As we rise to new heights- in whatever field, as we accomplish new task and goals during our journey, one must stay grounded. We must stay consistent with our daily practices, reading, journaling, workouts, diet, praying and such. The fairness is sometimes the toughest for me as my tolerance for a lack of integrity is slim to none. I do what I say that I am going to do and simply ask the same of those that I engage with daily.

 As I get into my, "Mid-Life", I realize more and more that people have a hard time dealing with consistency. I mean, I am a certain way. I'm considered straight forward, honest, kind at times but often considered relentless. People want me to waiver depending on what their own personal needs are and they don't consider how I may feel having to bend. Flexibility is one thing but having boundaries and knowing the value of your time is something completely different. 

 We strive for greatness. Pushing ourselves, at times, past the point of exhaustion. What drives me? Where do I want to end up? What is the end game? I love to create. I like quiet times, just reading a book, working on a script, or fishing among other things. Peace is a great motivation and so is being able to do fun things. Either way we fool ourselves into believing that the hard work will eventually pay off. We brainwash ourselves. As if we have some magic power to make it all happen when we want. Truth is, timing is everything. Thus we must have a bit of faith and trust in the Universe. Of course the hard work helps and will eventually pay off. We just do not truly know when. 

 Just when I thought that I couldn't do much more, another gear kicked in. The energy, the ideas, the belief was there but the tipping point came from sources outside of myself. The deal was sealed today. It only takes one to dance with and we found our date. Working in the film business takes fortitude as well as artistic ability. There is an ebb and flow that becomes a dance. You go too hard and you tire quick. You go too slow and your partner loses interest. The point is, experience will help you with finding the rhythm that suits you and your future collaborators the best. 

How many times do we go near a body of water and test the temperature before plunging in and what's the motivation behind the times when we just jump right in? For me there are many factors. First and foremost, my expectation and or confirmation of a warm body of water.  I like it bathwater warm or I'm usually tip toeing in. Second motivating factor for the direct dive in is company. If I'm with my boys and we are all going in then it now becomes a competition. My daughters, I'm just going in to make sure the coast is clear and to inspire them to be brave.  Then every once in a blue moon I make exceptions. When the water is ICE COLD there is no time for tip toeing. It's all in or nothing at all. This is kind of a metaphor for life at times. I'm working on a project that took a lot of testing the waters and at times I had to jump right into the unknown. Either way I was swimming and wet. The only way to be in the game is by getting into the water if not you are j...

How good does it feel to write down a goal and actually see it come to fruition? Checking that box of, not  things to do, but things that are done. Whatever the goal, I feel a pep in my step, when I hit the target. I have actively set goals for decades now. It's wild to say that out loud but it is true. Over time I've made some outlandish goals and though I didn't feel badly about not hitting those in the given timespan that I set, I did learn that setting obtainable goals to keep the ball moving down the field was more beneficial than trying to accomplish things that require way more work and knowledge than I could put in or obtain at the time. That being said, I have written out my 2025 goals and had a wonderful closing to my 2024 with the edit and delivery of a feature film, Finding Faith. I look forward to sharing the news of where the film lands. This film was shot in the summer of 2024 with much preparation put in beforehand. I worked with my friend, Lazrael Lison, wh...

Day to day routine. I make choices moment to moment that show me my commitment to the goals that I have set for myself. I found myself scrolling one evening. Clip after clip hitting on the senses that apparently hit the pleasure senses. Luckily I was able to snap out of it and realize that my algorithm had been set and I was hooked. In a blink of an eye 45 minutes was at the end of the day wasted on media that did not serve the mission or build me up. If it is not adding then it is taking away. Time the one asset that can never be replaced. Those minutes are gone but I can change what I do that got me into that downfall. Erase the problem. Cold turkey. Commit to the commitment. Do what you say you are going to do. 

 I love football. It's hard for me not to relate everything in life to the game. I played the game from the ages 7-22. The game taught me so many valuable lessons in life. Finishing the drill and doing my job are two that stand out right now in my life. Many of us have great ideas. Some of us even start the ideas that we come up with and move the ball down the field. Then certain plays stop working or a metaphorical penalty causes set backs and you lose a little momentum. If I'm paying close attention, if I'm truly locked in, I can see that the set back is actually an opportunity. The timing was off so I need the extra plays to get better. I keep the pedal on the metal but I'm using different tactics this time around. Some players on the team may need a rest or simply need replacing. When I'm in the red zone the only thing that matters is scoring. I will not fumble the ball. The only way to win is to score points. When you get into the red zone, the only thing that ...

 The days are long. The workload is heavy. Sometimes I wake up and think life is going by so fast and yet so much has happened. So much life has been experienced. Still I want more. How to embrace the moments and yet seek a greater connection. Live your passion. Wake up loving what I do, whether coaching clients or create the next film, tv series or book it what, I think, gives me that extra boost to fully commit to the experiences of the moment. I have goals and expectations for myself but while I work and live, I stay present and committed. Lock in and finish the year strong. Much love. Never Quit.  Here are some pics from my latest project. Alphas Shot in Cape Town. 

 I look at the journey of those that I admire. How does one continue to pursue their goals no matter what obstacles come their way? Like any muscle we must work the mind to continue to show up. When we can only go half speed, show up and go half speed. Sometimes it's simply good enough to just be present. Unable to lift weights or run, I would still show up to the gym and simply stretch when recovering from a bone marrow transplant. Going into the transplant, it being my third, I was positive and grateful for the chance to be cured. I set my mantra and bought in repeating daily. I committed to the commitment. The results will be what they will be but with a commitment you will 100% grow.  Much Love. Never Quit. Brainwashed For Greatness. 

  Finding Faith Deadline Hollywood Yesterday we wrapped principal photography on a feature that I came across in April. The writing had me in the first ten pages and I began to call those that I knew who could help this vision come to fruition. Everyday since I have been working to finish the drill. Yesterday we wrapped principal photography on the feature, Finding Faith and I am so grateful. We saw it, We believed and We achieved it. Never Quit. Much Love. Brainwashed for Greatness. 

Today was the first day of shooting on a feature film that my friend of over 20 years and I have set out to conquer. Lazrael Lison, Director and Writer and I have done many projects together over that time but this one feels different. On our last project, Christmas Angel, I was prepping for a bone barrow transplant. I was literally going from the hospital chair in the infusion clinic to the set. Sometimes forgetting to remove the bracelet but determined to finish the job. This time, Black Bench Productions and Summer House Pictures are in full health and I am so grateful. Lazrael and I have shared our dreams with each other and have put the work in to bring us to this point. Impossible is Nothing. Much Love. Never Quit. Brain Washed For Greatness.  

We all will suffer. That is the human experience. Happy days should be enjoyed as if they are the greatest days of all time. Imagine. The teacher says that your child is a great delight to have in class. That feels so good right? What if you just let that moment pass because that is what you expect of your child. Then you miss the moment and just like that it's gone and the child is now walking the graduation stage and heading off to the real world where no one will ever say that your kid is such a delight to have in class again. And if they do it won't hit the same. One example of many times that we pass up the opportunity to truly lap up the joy and excitement of a moment. It hurts sometimes to think about the moments that have come and gone. The people who have left the earth as I know it. I miss my dad and his voice and his criticism and his laugh and his vibe. I even miss the protection that he gave me in my times of need. I'm a grown man now with my own family and now...

As I watch the Olympics there is one thing that I see that all of the participants have in common. Not only do they have a second gear but many times, in the final stretch, we see the world's premiere athletes dig deeper to a third gear that pushes them out in front in hopes of hoisting a GOLD MEDAL. We see the finished product or the product in the prime of its sports career. I say product but I mean it as a symbol pertaining to any finished accomplishment, a film, a book, a car, an app, a new invention or an athlete, that has been seen by the world that has changed the game. The iPhone, Michael Jordan, sliced bread all took many years, tens of thousands of hours of hard work and thought and trial and error and failure to become what they are today. I'm not sure about sliced bread but I can assure you that the other two didn't just happen. I say that to say that I have witnessed this in my journey. Not only in the battle with cancer and three transplants, but with my film ...

I remember when I was told by my father that I would be lucky if I had five true friends in life. I was young. Twelve or thirteen, I was just old enough to think I knew it all but fortunately smart enough to listen and store the information. I trusted him and though the number of friends has exceeded his experience, I understand the sentiments. My dad went straight into the armed services at 18 where I took a more fluid and exotic path. One minute here and the next I'm there and thus I met more people who were attractive in mindset, character and of course, at times, physique. Over the years I've become quite the collector of great friends but ever more importantly those friends CHOSE ME. I have worked on myself since I can remember. Always checking in and trying to be a better person than I was the day before and thus making myself a more attractive candidate for friendship. I love my friends and will do anything that I can to help them reach any goal, traverse through any sto...

What does it really mean to live each day like it's your last? How close have you come to living your last day? Many know the answer. I've been told that I was close and God and Universe know that I am grateful for each second that has been granted since. But, if I try, I can go back within certain situations that made me feel like I need to get something done or spend more time with certain folks with a little more urgency. I hold on to those feelings as a constant reminder to not waste time and to be present in the moments when I'm enjoying myself as well as when I am being challenged. LIFE. It has its ups and downs but we all know that at one time or another we will go onto the next realm, whatever that may be for you. So go for it. Live out your dreams. Take a chance and ROLL THE DICE, as my mother always says. For tomorrow is not promised. I want to live a life where I can say I tried my best and left it all on the court, field, rink, stage or what have you. I do not w...

Many of my entries talk about finding a why. I myself used my why's, my wife, my kids, friends and family to inspire me to move forward with optimism throughout my journey battling cancer. In addition to the why I've put a phrase to what I've been consciously doing which is part of the reason why I keep my why in the forefront of all that I do. Most of the books that I've read and the one's on the to read list all have similarities in that they inspire. "Radical Remission", tells stories of people who were told by their doctors to go home and get your affairs in order and yet ten years later they are still here and living a healthy, cancer free life. This book gives hope. "The True Power of Water", talks about the power of positive words and thoughts towards water crystals and their formation and color results. "The Obstacle is The Way", talks about turning a challenge into an opportunity. The list goes on and on. I will talk about the ...

The old saying, "if you can see it and believe then you can achieve it", reigns true and the proof is in the pudding. Each day I write down and say my mantras of positivity, growth and gratitude. We got the news that the Bone Marrow Transplant was successful in that I am 100% my donor's marrow and blood type and I feel strong and healthy. The journey has been extensive and at times difficult and yet we experienced so much positivity and joy throughout. The pain and mistakes create wisdom when a lesson is learned. My vision and focus are pinpoint. I believe that the things that I see and want to happen in my life are happening. I see them happening. I am grateful that they are happening. I am cured. I am happy. I am healthy. I am rich. Much Love and Never Quit. 

 In my opinion,  our purpose is reviled through our adversities. The things that drive us to put our best foot forward, eliminate negativity, seek wisdom and to pay attention are the sources to reaching our greatest potential. I want to be the best me that I can be and strive to be that daily. I have checkins regularly with my community of friends and family who serve as coaches, encouragers, supporters and consolers. We all fight together to help each other obtain the goals that they seek to accomplish. I share my story in hopes to inspire someone to keep reaching, keep striving, keep taking the next step in accomplishing what they've set out to do. This week I received some life changing news. Good NEWS. My biopsy showed that I am officially 100% my donors marrow. I am now B+ blood type from A+. Along with that there is no sign of disease of any form. I have been given a fresh start and it is my duty and honor to share my story. Much love Never Quit,

 Let's face it. We don't do things or attempts things to hear no upon completion. In regard to applying to a school, getting a book published, a movie sold, or simply asking someone for a favor hearing no does not feel great. Fortunately there is positive news that comes from hearing the word no. In my line of business and throughout my journey battling cancer I have heard the word no hundreds if not thousands of times. I'm pretty sure it's closer to thousands. I've heard it so much that the pain though at times still peers its head, for the most part doesn't exist. I've taken the no's and turned them into not yet's. You see I'm living proof that the no's are leading to yeses if you just persist. My motto is, NEVER QUIT. I follow my heart and intuition. I know what I want out of life and I have graciously asked. I've asked out loud at times and I've learned that if I continue to work hard towards my goals and follow the signs, I will ...